No mom space

Why is it that the mom has to give so much. I want to be able to run away from my life for a day. But that is never going to happen.  I want time for me i don't even have a room of my own to hide away. My husband has claimed our bedroom. So i have no where to go. I want a place where i can just be alone. Love my family to death but i list myself. I feel so alone. Even when it comes to friends i have to make that first move. "Hey uou want to go do something?"  Am i that bad if a person that no one wants to do anything?  I have decided that i am not going to try any more. I put in so much that i get nothing in return.  This church life too is getting to me. We are suppose to love everyone. Hey where is my life. Not going to stop believeing in God and stuff, but i'm so done with this clickyness. Need to find my happy spot. Haven't been able to do that in awhile since i hurt my hip. Running is my life and haven't been able to run in 4 months. I want to scream. I hoping by mid november i can start it up again. Hate being depressed. Life will get better. I just need to vent. Peace out