No more disappointment

My husband has lost both of his parents around christmas. So he has no more christmas spirit for me. At least he can give it to his kids. I just want to feel loved from him?  I give up. I'm never going to have a christmas i want ever again. I throw in the towel. I will keep up my spirits for my kids. I need to be happy for them

Time for me

This isn't a venting session. This me trying to light a fire under my butt. If i want time for me, i'm going to have to make it happen. I have the next 3 weeks to change me. I need to get up early and get ti the gym. This week though, it will be the getting up early. I need to find someone to help me with food. I need to eat bett and so does my family. Ut is a time for change, and i am going to make it happen. No mire feeling sorry for myself. I can do this

Frustrated

Why do people use me. I want to be friends at all, but they don't want to be my friend. I throw my hands up in the air. Thanks Shay for shunning me. I feel like a total loser. You make me feel like crap. You make me feel like no one wants to be my friend. I'm done. I won't try anymore. I just want one friend from my ward. Oh well got to vent. Don't care if no one reads this. This is for me to let some frustrations out.  Maybe one day i'll get that great friend i was looking for. I was never that girl though. I always wanted that, but never got it

No mom space

Why is it that the mom has to give so much. I want to be able to run away from my life for a day. But that is never going to happen.  I want time for me i don't even have a room of my own to hide away. My husband has claimed our bedroom. So i have no where to go. I want a place where i can just be alone. Love my family to death but i list myself. I feel so alone. Even when it comes to friends i have to make that first move. "Hey uou want to go do something?"  Am i that bad if a person that no one wants to do anything?  I have decided that i am not going to try any more. I put in so much that i get nothing in return.  This church life too is getting to me. We are suppose to love everyone. Hey where is my life. Not going to stop believeing in God and stuff, but i'm so done with this clickyness. Need to find my happy spot. Haven't been able to do that in awhile since i hurt my hip. Running is my life and haven't been able to run in 4 months. I want to scream. I hoping by mid november i can start it up again. Hate being depressed. Life will get better. I just need to vent. Peace out